Why Don't We Ask Why: Trying To Become More Curious
Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash
We say we value learning. That it’s important. But we don’t actually mean it. Not at a societal level at least.
We implicitly, and sometimes explicitly, try to create people who follow rules and memorize facts. “Listen to me, what you learn in class today will help you later,” just enforces the shut up and listen mindset. Sure, teachers tell us to ask questions and ask why. But that doesn’t mean they’ll reward us for actually doing it.
Nobody does.
Asking why, having an actual desire to learn, is often met with annoyance or sarcasm. “There’s no such thing as a dumb question,” yet people laugh when they think you ask one.
We encourage people, especially kids, to pretend they understand. We’ve created a sense of fear that not understanding something makes you stupid. I know I still carry this fear with me. It keeps me from being curious and asking why.
But First, Why Should We Be More Curious?
Of course we should ask why should I be more curious? That’s what this experiment is about, asking why.
For me the answer is because I genuinely love to learn. I get a natural high when something clicks and I connect a new piece of knowledge with something that previously seemed unrelated. It’s rare that I learn something while sitting around doing nothing. Normally I’m reading, listening to a podcast, or having a conversation that goes deeper than the weather.
The reason I hope you try to be more curious is because I think it’s a positive for society as a whole. Mindless people don’t push the world forward. Thinkers, inventors, and creators do. Doing this at a grand scale and changing the world on your own isn’t realistic nor the intention of being more curious. But if you’re intentionally being more curious, maybe someone close to you will do the same.
That’s why I ask you to join me in being selfish. Learn as much as you can, strive to make a difference; ask why. And do the same with others in your life.
How We Suppress Curiosity
I recently heard Neil deGrasse Tyson talk about parents who stop their kids from jumping in a puddle. What they’re really doing is suppressing curiosity. Their kid will learn from that experience and get instant feedback. But the parent is telling them to stay in line, be cautious, and follow the rules. It would be a shame if they were to splash water.
Photo by Shawn Appel on Unsplash
On the surface it doesn’t seem like a big deal. It makes sense that we want to avoid water getting splashed on our clothes. What’s to be gained? Well, knowledge is.
Sure, we all sooner or later learn what happens when you put force into water. But that’s not really the point. The point is we’re suppressing the curiosity of the most curious and creative among us, kids. We’re telling them the answers instead of letting them learn.
We’re simply doing what the older generation taught us. But it’s us who now have the power to stop it. The most influential people in history, Albert Einstein, Aristotle, and Martin Luther King Jr, had curious minds. They challenged others and asked why. They didn’t play by the rules.
So, why, I ask, are we suppressing free thought and a desire to learn in others?
How To Be More Curious
I’m on this journey myself, trying to break the habits that keep me from asking why. This means I need to first call them out. What feelings and habits do I currently have that suppress curiosity?
I need to stop being concerned about my own self-image. I shouldn’t care whether someone thinks I’m dumb for asking a so-called stupid question. Then there’s the puddle story. I need to seek out new experiences. I’ve relied on reading to learn about new things instead of actually doing them.
This is not simply being open to learning new things, but creating and seeking out situations in which I’m going to learn something new. Putting myself in situations I’ve never been in before. So really, it’s about making myself uncomfortable.
Actions I’m taking:
Watching YouTube videos of speeches and debates from people I respect.
Reading memoirs and biographies from people different than me.
Asking more questions at work or while talking with friends.
Searching out and attending conferences and expos.
Joining local organizations to meet and talk with new people.
Writing about a wider-range of topics.
Picking up a new hobby if it seems mildly interesting.
This is a long list and one that allows flexibility. I don’t have to be working on all of them at once, but need to make sure and at least try each of them. But it will keep me busy.
As someone who feels like every day goes by too quickly, I’ve never had a problem entertaining myself or finding something I enjoy doing. In my mind, accepting that I’m bored means I’m wasting time. Wasting an opportunity to try or learn something new, or to simply do something fun.
Writing this during a period of physical distancing has its benefits. Since all events have moved online it’s easier for me to attend something that’s normally in a different city or state. Sure, I can’t go to the coffee shop and eavesdrop on other conversations, or take the train to observe other people, but I can still experience new things. And so can you.
This actually might be the perfect time to begin a journey of being more curious. If I work hard now on overcoming my fears, then when I have more options for new things to experience I may choose the harder and more rewarding opportunity.
But most of all, the present is always the best time to start.
